Signs That You Are In A Wrong Relationship

These are signs that you may be dating the wrong person. Obviously, perfection is really scarce, and this suggests that there will be something about your boo or bae that you’d have loved . If, however, the list of what you want your partner to change is really lengthy, this means there is a huge possibility of arguments, complaints and discontent in the relationship.

You feel like you have to wear a mask.

If you’re putting on a song-and-dance in an elaborate attempt to impress your partner, you might be dating the wrong person. Your partner should love you as you are. Does it feel like they are trying to mold you into an entirely different person? If so, it might be time to let them go.

                                    Unfavorable comparisons to your ex

When you find yourself constantly comparing your lover with your ex, even though you have been together for a number of months or more, then you could be dating the wrong person.

                                     They don’t really listen to you.

If your partner is always waiting for their turn to speak, you might be dating the wrong person. They always go off on tangents about their day at work, but never seem interested in yours. They always suggest where they’d like to go, but never seem to care what you think. If your partner does a whole lot of speaking (but never listens), you might want to find someone not so self-centered to share your life with. 

                You have started to adopt unhealthy lifestyle habits

If you used to practice self-care a lot, made sure to get a good amount of exercise weekly, and ate healthy before your partner and suddenly it changed, Ponaman says you may have fallen for the wrong person. "This varies from person to person, but healthy eating, for example, allows the body to feel rejuvenated, energized, and good," she says. "If you were once a healthy eater and decided to 'ease up' on the lifestyle after you began to see your partner, it shows you and your partner's lifestyle habits may not be fully aligned." It really comes down to the reason behind why you decided to make the change. If it's to make you two seem more compatible, you may have fallen for the wrong person.

                                   Your family and friends dislike him

This might be a little tricky in the sense that people’s opinion about who you date or don’t date should not really matter that much, especially if they are just plainly hating on him/her for no reason.

                               You avoid difficult conversations.

If every difficult chat gets swept under the rug, you might be dating the wrong person.Should you bring up things like politics, religion, favorite sexual positions, or your desire to have five children on the first date? Probably not. But as the weeks and months and years go on, it becomes more and more important to have those tough (but necessary) conversations. If you want to have children but your partner doesn’t, you might have a problem. If your religion is a top priority but your partner is anything but a devout follower, you need to have a chat. If there’s something the matter, say so (because no, your partner isn’t a psychic). 

                      You have confused being in love with having a crush

Having an intense crush on someone may seem like love, but it's important to differentiate the two. According to Matlin, a crush is sometimes one-sided. "It's often an obsessive, overly emotional, and idealized focus on another person," she says. Most importantly, there's a huge distance between you and your person of interest. When that crush turns into unrequited love, you know you've fallen for the wrong person.

Loving someone, on the other hand, is to see the person for who they are and loving them for the good, bad, and ugly. As dating and relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca, CLC, tells Bustle, "It's usually based on a deeper sense of respect for who they are. We feel more accepting of and tolerant about their behavior, even when it doesn't please us. We find a way to still love them, even when we don't love their decisions and choices."

    You can’t imagine a future together without laughing or crying.

If the thought of a life-long commitment makes you want to curl up in a ball and weep, you might be dating the wrong person. I know the thought of being alone might not appeal to you, but staying in a relationship that is destined for failure is as silly as it gets. If you have no future with this person, end the relationship and find someone you can be happy with.

      You communicate your concerns but nothing ever changes

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being optimistic, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But "waiting for your partner to change is a recipe for heartache," Caitlin Killoren, relationship coach at relationship training app, Relish, tells Bustle. In a healthy partnership, you and your partner will express your individual concerns and find a way to tackle issues together. But if you love the wrong person, you can have all the tough talks you want, and communicate your concerns as often as you like, but nothing ever changes. That's because you can't ever really expect to change a person. As Behrendt and Ruotola say, most people are reluctant to change on their own accord. In situations like this, it's important to realize that this might be a long drawn out breakup in disguise. "Eventually you will need to be honest with yourself about where this relationship is or isn't going," they say.

              Your schedules dont line up

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who lives across the country in a different time zone or who works overnight, while you work a regular 9-5? If so, Bethany Ricciardi, relationship expert with Too Timid tells Bustle, you could be head over heels in love with the wrong one. Being in a long-distance relationship or having completely different work schedules doesn't give you much time to spend together. Although these can work out with the right amount of trust and communication, there's a reason why many of them don't. "We all have wants and needs," Ricciardi says. "Sometimes I like to think of us as flowers; we need to be given a little bit of sunshine and water everyday. So who’s giving that to you when you and your partner never see each other?" 

You dont feel comfortable talking to your partner about what you really want in bed.

The definition of good sex varies from person to person, as Ricciardi says, it is unrealistic to think you are going to be craving your partner's body 24/7, 365 days a year like lovebirds do in the movies, but having a healthy sex life with lots of passion and desire is super important. If you find that your partner isn’t as interested in things that you are in the bedroom or you find yourself not being sexually pleased, she says you may have fallen in love with the wrong person. Sure, many people have different libido levels or want different things in bed. Although communication is key, you need to have that level of intimacy in order to feel comfortable enough to tell your partner what you really want. "If you're with the right person, your pleasure should be important to them," she says. 

                                    You are having a lot of sex without any intimacy

People tend to think of the word “intimacy” as just another way to say sex. But being intimate with your partner doesn’t have to involve sex at all. While sex can keep you interested in a relationship, intimacy is what bonds people for a long time. "Most people think that regular sex with your partner means a healthy relationship, but not always," Ponaman says. Instead, "emotional, connected sex" equates to a healthy relationship. If you've fallen in love with the wrong person, you may have this idea that having more sex is the key to keeping your relationship alive. According to Ponaman, many couples unconsciously shift from sex with an emotional connection to sex for necessity. "If it becomes something you pencil into your schedule, it’s no longer an act of love but a 'to-do,'" she says. If sex is the only thing keeping the two of you together, that's a sign you may be with the wrong one. 

                                    They need to have things go their way.

Relationships work best when both partners feel like they’re equally being seen and heard. In fact, a 2021 study of 181 heterosexual couples published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who feel like they have an equal say in what goes on in their relationship are much happier than those with an unbalanced power dynamic. The couples who were the most satisfied felt like they had more freedom and personal power in their relationship. "If you have a partner that is a bit selfish and has to have their way all the time, you may be ... with someone who has not grown up sufficiently enough to be in a relationship," Rappaport says. A healthy relationship with the right person is one where there’s balance and compromise. You should be able to feel like your voice and your opinions truly matter to them. If you don't, you might have fallen for someone who's all wrong for you because they don't respect you enough to see you as an equal.